Growing up, I knew I wasn’t going to become an American Idol. I think my vocal chords somehow got confused during development and I have this boy-going-through-puberty thing going on (thank God it’s just vocal chords, am I right?).
Tiny story: My mom signed me up for an audition (8th grade) for God’s Image, a choir based in Southern California:
Randy, judge: So why do you want to join God’s Image?
Me: Because my mom made me.
Of course I didn’t get in. My mom was mad and embarrassed, and asked me to re-audition again the following year:
Sandy SMN: So why do you want to join God’s Image?
Me: To build God’s kingdom through praise and worship.
I remember practicing with Michelle at Stella’s house and while Michelle and Candice both got in the first time, I joined them a year later (sorry for outing you guys.. haha but this is how we all became friends!!!)
I love going to Karaoke/NRB places because I can act as silly and sing off key as I want because nobody cares. Unless they’re reallllly good and sing songs like Mariah Carey’s Through the Rain or Whitney Houston’s I Will Love You, then my song choices of Queen or Yellow Submarine sound ridiculous.
But church settings always got me so nervous: can the person next to me hear? ugh, am i singing in key? why is the song so high? i hate this song.
Tough times were when the praise leader would say “only voices,” then I had a mini panic attack. The absolute WORST “oh God, no…” moments were during smallgroup, because it’s only 5-9 people.
I took it so seriously, and wished praise leaders had terrible voices so I could relate. It’s absurd that I cared more about how I sounded at church than in a karaoke room. So I came to God in prayer that I be able to freely worship. I also realized, it can’t just be ME that can’t sing; so maybe if I sang my heart out, I would encourage someone else who might feel the same way, find peace. Ever since then, it’s been awesome and praise God! I find so much joy, not looking at me/surroundings, and instead focusing on Him and understanding who He is. YAY!