Growing up, I knew I wasn’t going to become an American Idol.  I think my vocal chords somehow got confused during development and I have this boy-going-through-puberty thing going on (thank God it’s just vocal chords, am I right?).


Tiny story:  My mom signed me up for an audition (8th grade) for God’s Image, a choir based in Southern California:

Randy, judge: So why do you want to join God’s Image?
Me: Because my mom made me.

Of course I didn’t get in.  My mom was mad and embarrassed, and asked me to re-audition again the following year:

Sandy SMN: So why do you want to join God’s Image?
Me: To build God’s kingdom through praise and worship.

I remember practicing with Michelle at Stella’s house and while Michelle and Candice both got in the first time, I joined them a year later (sorry for outing you guys.. haha but this is how we all became friends!!!)


I love going to Karaoke/NRB places because I can act as silly and sing off key as I want because nobody cares.  Unless they’re reallllly good and sing songs like Mariah Carey’s Through the Rain or Whitney Houston’s I Will Love You, then my song choices of Queen or Yellow Submarine sound ridiculous.

But church settings always got me so nervous: can the person next to me hear? ugh, am i singing in key? why is the song so high? i hate this song.

Tough times were when the praise leader would say “only voices,” then I had a mini panic attack.  The absolute WORST “oh God, no…” moments were during smallgroup, because it’s only 5-9 people.

I took it so seriously, and wished praise leaders had terrible voices so I could relate.  It’s absurd that I cared more about how I sounded at church than in a karaoke room.  So I came to God in prayer that I be able to freely worship.  I also realized, it can’t just be ME that can’t sing; so maybe if I sang my heart out, I would encourage someone else who might feel the same way, find peace.  Ever since then, it’s been awesome and praise God!  I find so much joy, not looking at me/surroundings, and instead focusing on Him and understanding who He is. YAY!

2009, when Hanna, Due, and I randomly went to NRB!


One thought on “Singing

  1. you convinced me to never do those “mmmm…mmm God… church… voices only..yes…”

    and i dont think i have a great voice, most of the time im just yelling and hoping that i sounds okay.

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